Thank god my life is finally back to normal! I've been in a coma since Friday after 1:30. Before falling into a deep sleep I remained in my zombie-like state for a couple more hours and went to this wonderful French cafe with one of my sorority sisters. After our great afternoon we watched Sex and the City for a couple hours until my roommate got off work. Tess just moved into a new apartment so Neyaz and I went over last night to check it out. We had a great time and by the time I fell into bed it was 2:30 in the morning and I didn't wake up again for another 12 hours.
I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before but at Trinity instead of having a formal formal, out formal consists of a weekend at the beach in Port Aransas, Tx with your date. Last year I got invited to three different fraternity formals as well as my own but I didn't go to any of them because I was way to insecure. My goal this year was to have lost tons of weight and obviously I didn't. So, I'm once again faced with my insecurity and caught between going to formal and having a blast or letting my lack of confidence keep me here. Next weekend I have a frat formal and I'm really panicking about it but I would feel awful flaking out on my date again. In a drunken state I mentioned to him the reason why I didn't attend last year and he straight up told me that I was crazy. I know that it's mostly in my own head and besides all the guys will have their beer goggles on and hey! they're not Abercrombie models or anything.
Neyaz took me, wait for it... swim suit shopping. Soooo fun! In all actuality it really was very difficult. I'm tried to stay super positive about it and ended up buying a swim suit and a half.
This was the swim suit that I had originally but I really wanted to get another because this one isn't very, I don't want to say sexy, but it is just seemed a little old for me. The top was under- wire and it was just really obvious that it was a swim suit made for girls with big boobs that don't want to flaunt it. Although that is my general game plan when I get a swim suit I don't want it to seem obvious to everyone else. Since all the girls at formal will be slutted up I wanted to get a swim that wasn't slutty but a little more fun. I went to Victoria Secret a couple of weeks ago and I couldn't persuade myself into getting a push up, sex-it-up swim suit so today we went to Target (what's the point of getting a $70 swim suit if it won't fit in a couple months? hee hee...). Now swim suit shopping isn't just hard because I think I need to lose a couple lbs but I'm also packin' a pair of double DDs around (sorry for the TMI...), I've always been super self-conscious about them so I definitely didn't want them out there! I'm pretty happy with the suits that I ended up with overall...
The one on the left is a combo of Walmart bottoms and then a top I bought today. Neyaz blanched at the thought of buying such a boring swim suit but I love all black swim suits and that top is totally in my comfort zone. The second on the other hand obviously attracts attention but I love the color. It's a bandeau with a halter. This is totally out of my comfort zone but I think that it'll be good for me to do something a little different.
You're definitely going to hear me venting my inner battle about going to the beach next weekend over the next couple days but I know that I can't let my insecurities get the best of me! It's so nice to be done with tests, papers, and projects so I can finally start going to be at a normal time (midnight instead of 4 am) and working out again! I had to take a picture of something I had on for my mama and then I thought that I 'd post a more natural picture of myself on here since the only pics of myself are usually taken right before I go out, not right before I go to bed. So I decided to not only send it to her but post it on here as well.
Ah post-shower, pre-blog, pre-pre-bed! Nothing like a good pair of norts to help you get to sleep! This post wasn't really fitness or healthy eating oriented but body image is really important (and obviously) a big deal to me and this next weekend will really test my confidence. Thankfully I have the support of my sisters (and hopefully bikini top...)!
Night, Night sweet bloggies!
Annie
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