This post has been inspired by something I have looked at many times over the years, it’s a list. A list written by the most beautiful caring and loving person I know. This list has sat on the shelf of her bathroom for as long as I can remember, and each time I passed by I would look at it to see what it said. There has been underlined words, sad faces, happy faces and lots of exclamation marks, so why do I hate this list so much? Why do I want to rip it into pieces, set it alight and dance around the flames?... Because it was a list that told her nothing of importance, a list that she has wasted so much of her time and energy on, a list that most women have mentally kept in their heads for years.
I love my mum beyond words, and she and the rest of my family have really embraced my healthy lifestyle. Over the space of about two years they’ve listened and embraced my knowledge, first went the vegetable oils in place of coconut/olive & macadamia oils, The cooking draw has slowly transformed from milk chocolate, plain flour and sugar to coconut flour, almond meal, raw cocoa and natural sweeteners such as honey or dates. Loaves of bread are only brought for guests and packets of chips, mini Mars Bars and the Lolly draw has slowly been replaced with jars of mixed nuts/seeds and homemade sugar free treats. Convincing them to eat full fat products was a pretty big hurdle too, but I threw some science at them & shoved some full fat dairy produce in their mouths and well, the rest is history. But there is no topic harder to crack then this one, it’s the bane of my existence and the hardest thing to beat out of any middle aged womans head.. it’s the scales.
In an effort to change her habit mum agreed to let me hide her scales, for weeks her comments were positive, she was feeling good, light on her feet with not a negative comment in sight.. until I received this email.
“Hi Melski, How r you? Got your text RE: no benefit in weighing myself and I know that is true. I was feeling really good about my progress, I’m less bloated and my jeans feel like they fit better, but I have a confession to make, last week I was in Spotlight in their bathroom section and what did I see, a set of scales. Well you know me, I couldn't resist so on I got. I did have clothes and boots on and my weight was the same L ”
I cannot tell you the amount of times I have received messages similar to this from my mum and my clients. And I totally get it- its not called “Losing weight” for nothing, the whole idea is that you ‘Lose weight!’. But what does the number on the scales actually tell you?
Does it tell you that your beautiful anyway, does it remind you that you have people in your life that love you no matter what size or shape you are? Does it congratulate you for trying a new class at the gym or having the courage to set yourself a goal that focuses on you? No, no it doesn’t.
The number that shows up on that scale determines your happiness for the day, it can make you feel amazing, OMG YES! Half a kg! What I am doing MUST be working, ill stick it out.. or on the flip side it can make you feel like a failure, it can make you throw in the towel, it can make you think that every positive action I’ve taken to make myself healthier was a waste of time. It can make you walk to the fridge, grab a block of butter and tell your daughter that THAT 500g of butter is how much weight you’ve put on that day… yes, you should laugh at that, and yes that did happen. (and yes, she then pretended to stick the block of butter to her thigh as if that’s exactly where the weight went)
So day in day out you put yourself through this misery, Standing there naked on your scales holding your breath and hoping for a number that will make you feel good about yourself. All that emotional stress and anguish over what? A number. A number that you will retain, to the decimal point and probably lie about when asked.
Lets take a moment to look at a few things that the scales don’t tell you, but they should-
- 1. You have undigested food in your stomach
- 2. You have waste that hasn’t been eliminated yet, so maybe its time for a bathroom break
- 3. You’ve had less headaches this week
- 4. Its that time of the month so your hormones are making you retain fluid
- 5. You have thyroid damage
- 6. The medication you are taking is making you retain water
- 7. Your skin is much clearer
- 8. You can fit into your old jeans
- 9. You’ve lost fat around your internal organs
- 10. Your hair and nails are stronger and grow longer
- 11. You are gaining muscle
- 12. You’ve lowered your risk of lung/heart disease
- 13. You are fitter
- 14. You can lift more then you ever have before
- 15. You move better
- 16. You can play with your kids for longer
- 17. You’re not bloated anymore
- 18. You are sleeping better
- 19. You’ve stopped craving sugar at 3pm.
- 20. You are less moody
- 21. Oh and hey.. you are awesome
So how can I convince you to toss your scales out once and for all? Well I cant, its going to be up to you and if you’re anything like my mother you’ve spend a significant amount of money on that super fancy scale and tossing it in the trash would be like tossing a part of you away.
If you don’t toss it, here is my advice- get someone to hide it from you, for 6 months. Yes, 6 months- you know why? Because significant fat loss will take that long if you do it the right way. Don’t drink the weight loss shakes, don’t buy the fat burning pills, don’t buy the appetite suppressants, don’t buy the prepackaged meals, and don’t deprive yourself of foods you love. Make yourself a plan that you can sustain for the rest of your life. Could you honestly go the gym three times a week? If you love the gym, then yes, if you hate it- find something else you do like. What about you try dancing again? Could you walk the dog every morning? Do you like yoga? Could you try something new like Cross Fit or Zumba? Find a movement you love to do, and commit to doing that. Find out what foods make you feel good inside, listen to your body. People know what the difference between junk food and fresh produce, so make small sustainable changes every week- try no sugar in your coffee this week, maybe have a big salad every day the next week, have some fruit rather than chocolate after dinner. Small and sustainable changes are your key to long-term success.
Use different methods to track your physique changes, try measurements with a measuring tape, take photos every week or get a DEXA scan. Cos' let me give you the hot tip, any weight loss method you try WILL work.. even the shakes, but it will only be sustainable if you can do that for the rest of your life, yes every single day. Because once you reach that ‘perfect figure’ you’ve always wanted, its not going to hang around long if you go back and do what you have always done.
Take your focus off the number on the scale, and use a method of tracking that is consistent and reliable. Remember - The more you change, the more that will change, if you are still eating/exercising how you always have, you will be the way you have always been. Don’t be afraid to try something new.
So set an achievable goal, make a sustainable plan, find people to support you, make yourself accountable, toss away your scales and be patient and constant in your approach.
Its time to treat yourself to a long and healthy life, because after all, you deserve it!
Mel xx
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